I often see posts from people on the forum asking if they can go through an IVA without their partner knowing, and while I can understand that it’s not the easiest subject to talk about (”By the way darling, I’m £65k in debt” doesn’t go down too well over dinner!) I think it’s sad that people feel that they can’t share their worries.

An IVA is tough, and to try and survive on your own for 5 years must be very hard.  I couldn’t have tried an IVA without Dave’s support – he was there for me through the short-lived IVA and has been a big support to me through my BR.  It’s good to be able to talk about worries and problems, and if he wants to go out and I haven’t got any money at least he understands why.

When I first told Dave I had problems he was great.  He calmed me down and told me to look on the internet for a solution, hence the IVA.  Unfortunately that didn’t work, and he was there for me again during BR.  It took me a long time to admit how much I actually owed though, and even longer to tell my mum!  She has been a big support as well, although I was dreading telling her – she took it very well and said “Oh well, everyone’s doing it these days!”  Not what I was expecting, but a pleasant surprise!

I have also been open with my friends – they now know why I can’t always afford to go out, and why there’s only a fiver in their children’s birthday cards instead of an expensive pressie (bought on credit).

I’m not saying that my way is the right way, but I wanted to share my experiences in case it helps someone else.

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